It's as common as the use of a cell phone, but few notice the gravity. While some finish meals in an instant, others prefer to taste each fork. Find out what this difference in rhythms can say about a relationship.
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11/09/2026
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AND if mealtime, instead of improving couples' connections, does exactly the opposite? It's not the phone, it's not the television, and it's not the couples who already have children.
Although it seems a minor detail, the speed at which couples finish a meal may be destroying relationships, especially if they have different rhythms.
However, some psychologists and therapists reveal to Huff Post that this topic does not only concern the speed with which meals end, but rather everything that this may involve.
As they point out, usually, the member of the couple who takes longer to finish the meal does so, not because it is slower, but because it is to appreciate the quality time at the time of meals, contrary to what the other element of the relationship shows: “What eats faster can even be ready to start cleaning, while what eats slower waited for connection time,” points couples therapist Anita Chlipala.
To this practice and imbalance in relationships, these experts associate lack of attention and communication during meals that may later negatively affect the relationship. It can generate tension, frustration and even conflicts, especially when one of the partners feels that the other is not valuing that moment of contact.
The optimistic side of this speed difference
Evelyn Pechous, a couples therapist, says that it is common for couples to navigate at very different rates in life and this is reflected in eating. The expert identifies this as a point in favor: “Partners who eat at different rates can actually be more compatible. This may indicate a necessary balance in the relationship.”
Or have you ever wondered what it could mean to be with someone who eats equally quickly? In essence, I would have no one to take care of their health and no one would recognise that, in the long run, excessive speed could become a serious health problem.
Attention, couples!
Remember that each person has a different relationship with food, and “happy couples have an open mind when the fact of eating faster or slower has a deeper meaning for a person,” describes Chipala, encouraging couples to listen during mealtime. However, with care not to make the other feel bad or wrong in the way he eats,” he adds.
Still, for those who eat faster, these experts warn: When the other member of the couple calls his attention, he should not say that it is his “way of eating” or that he is doing it “because he is hungry”. Respect the needs of your partner and try to respond in some way, instead of trying to justify yourself for everything.
Still, if the other person makes rude or condescending comments about how he eats, perhaps the ideal is to reassess the partner he chooses to share these moments of gastronomic pleasure.